Er…YES!
Pundits are surprised that the latest Twilight sequel didn’t break any box office records during its opening weekend. Mind you, it still did top the chart.
I’m actually surprised it made out as well as it did, drawing a respectable $139.5 million Friday through Sunday. Putting that in perspective, the weekend’s runner-up was Happy Feet Two, which only drew $22 million. Blockbuster season is over and it’s chilly out this time of year.
Turns out the stink is over the fact that only 20% of Dawn‘s audience turned out to be male, in the US. Meaning (dayum!), American women spent $111.6 million (yes, I did the math) to see Kristen Stewart get knocked up.
I wouldn’t complain or worry, E!. Filmmakers out there should actually take note and put out more product geared toward women.
Not in that Lisa Cholodenko (The Kids are Alright) kinda way, mind. But in that blood-sucking-Swarovski-dildo-fighting-for-your-affection-against-an-underage-werewolf-greased-up-with-puffy-nipples sort of way. And yes, maybe “dudes” won’t get it. But, so what? Women do! $111.6 million in three days says they do.
Films made for men run the gamut from art-house to Judd Apatow to Michael Bay. It’s odd that Hollywood hasn’t given the fairer sex the same opportunities to indulge in wanton immodesty, while suspending disbelief. We all deserve to indulge in fantasy that is as intoxicating as it is mindless. Intoxicating because it is mindless.
So, right on! Women now have their Swarovski dildos. Us guys wouldn’t have it any other way.
BTW: “Dudes”, if your woman followed you to the last 3 Transformers flicks to see the interchangeable hot chick bounce around in between explosions, suck it up and go with her to Breaking Dawn. We, men, as a community, really need to figure out what the hell women find so hot about Robert Pattinson. I mean, seriously!
We really do.